Schwarz Shorts
by Raeshiel
Summary: a collection of snippets and tales
1. Forgive me

I regret to say that I do not own Weiß or Schwarz, sigh, though I can still adore them, right?

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

The priest leaned back against the wall, sighing in happiness. Another soul had lifted its burden of sin and paid their penance. He straightened as he heard the sound of another poor soul entering the confessional. On seeing the man through the screen, however, he almost ran. A black eye patch concealed the partner of a glittering amber eye, and white hair that looked like it had lost a fight with a weed whacker sat atop a scarred face.

"Forgive me, father, for I have sinned. It has been ten seconds since my last confession." The voice betrayed the man as Irish.

"What sin could you have committed in ten seconds!" asked the priest amazed, and forgetting a moment what he was. The man seemed to hesitate.

"The father in the next confessional over is dead."


	2. prank kalls

The phone rang, and the assassin stared at it. It shouldn't be ringing, it had no right to be ringing. Yoji was not home, and neither Ken nor Omi ever got calls. It was also late, and they never got flower orders at this time. That phone should not be ringing. Aya tentatively picked it up.

"Hello."

"Hi! Is this Aya...Fujimaiya...Fudgimina...Fujiyama...no that's not it..." said the voice on the other end. The assassin's eyes narrowed, he growled softly, but apparently the person didn't hear.

"...Fujiwawa...oh! I know! Fudgy yamsa! You know what, I'm sorry, I'm really hungry, sorry, the yams thing got me going...I'll call back later...Bye"

click

slam

Across the city, Crawford went into the living room, glad for some peace and quiet. Schuldich and Farfie had gone out for the day, and he was alone; Nagi didn't count, he was quiet enough for Brad's taste. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, the phone rang.

"Nagi, get that."

"You get it, I'm reading."

"Fine." he snarled. Nothing would make that obnoxiously stubborn kid do anything he didn't want to. He snatched the phone up and brought it to his ear.

"Hello."

"Bradley! Braddy Brad Brad Brad BradBradBradBradBradBrad. Brad Crawdad! Crawfordad Sad Brad. Bradley wadley. Rad Brad"  
Crawford smashed the phone down. Who in the hell was that?...

Farfie was laughing his head off, but Schu was shaking his head sadly.

"We've really got to work on this. Let's try this again. Listen to how I do it, and try to do something comprehensible next time."

ring


	3. Crawford Hour

I humbly apologize for the insanity in this fic, it was two o' clock when I wrote it, and so, the hour between 2:00 and 3:00 has been officially has been dubbed Crawford Hour, by my and my cohorts.

I have also attempted to fix it, so it should be a litle more readable, for all you who complained about its dizzying format, which was not my original intention. So tada...

> > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >

One day as Omi was roaming on a website made for homing, Ken was doing once again his Zen upon the floor. Ran was up at dawn, trying to suppress a yawn, and sadly, Bradley madly walked down onto Crawford Lane.

Schu this day was feeling blue; stuck in his hair was super glue, what's worse, he couldn't find his shoe. There was just one, he needed two, and that yellow bandana too, and sadly Bradley madly walked down onto Crawford Lane.

Nagi sat home groggy, he was sick and rather foggy, did they really have a doggie, or had his memory gone boggy? His socks were still real soggy, he had tripped upon a loggy; did he really just say loggy? Still sadly, Bradley madly walked down onto Crawford Lane.

Tot never really got to her little happy spot where she was to meet Nagi, not that she had ever thought that he liked her just a lot. And so Tot fought through the parking lot into a knot of traffic. It was hot, Nagi could rot, and Tot was going home, as sadly Bradley madly walked down onto Crawford Lane.

Brad was getting mad, he was a tad miffed at his dad, who dared to name him Brad in the first place. He knew at home he would find a blue Schu, a foggy Nagi, and Farfie was barfing, what was that about? A stack of crack is not a snack! He didn't want to face it yet...and so...sadly, Bradley madly walked down onto Crawford Lane.


	4. Isn't it ironic

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Ironic (Weiß Style)  
  
Schu: Hi! Welcome to Parodies with Schwarz! Weiß isn't here at the moment, so we'll be singing you a little song we dedicated to them! *evil grin*  
  
Farfie: It hurts God...*a little hurt himself, emotionally, not physically* but Crawford won't sing with us.  
  
Schu : What! I thought we had him...oh...Nagi, he's trying to get out the window again. *Crawford comes floating in the room, Nagi close behind* Thanks. Okay everybody!  
  
(All singing, but Crawford) : An old man turned 68, Became Prime Minister, died in a few days. A katana went through him straight. I guess he dodged Aya, two seconds too late. And isn't it ironic, don't you think?  
  
Schu: Crawford, you're not singing! It's like rain when you're feeling sad It's Aya trying to kill Omi's dad. It's the support of Weiß, when anyone's sad. And who would've thought...*shoves Crawford forward, who is none too happy*  
  
Crawford: ...it figures. *grumbling under his breath* I knew I should have left early this morning.  
  
Nagi: I wrote this verse! Come on Brad, you promised!  
  
Little Omi-kun asked who am I? Almost killed his brother and began to cry. Never knowing he's Reiji's son his whole damn life. And as the truth crashed down he thought Well isn't this nice? And isn't it ironic...don't you think?  
  
(Chorus *Crawford still being shoved forward during his little part*)  
  
*suddenly all the people Weiß has killed rise up to sing their two cents worth*  
  
Yeah and Weiß has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you think  
that your plot's okay and everything's going right.  
Yeah Weiß has a funny way of taking you out and you know everything's  
gone wrong and bugnuks are in your face.  
  
*dead people once again die. Farf stand mesmerized*  
  
Farf: *awed* That hurt God.  
  
All (even Crawford):  
  
Teaching soccer kids, Ken can no longer play. A no smoking sign on Youji's cigarette break.  
  
Schu: Yay! Brad's singing! It's like ten thousand spoons against Farfie's knife. *Farfie cackles madly, continuing through the rest of the song* Omi meets the girl of his dreams And she's his sister...right. And isn't it ironic...don't you think? A little too ironic...and yeah I really do think  
  
(Chorus)  
  
Crawford: We're not doing that again.  
  
Farfie: Repeating things over and over hurts God. *Runs off screaming song at the top of his lungs* 


	5. Pocky, Chocolate Pocky

I dedicate this chapter to the greatest person in my life. You've always been there for me, helping me out when I've had writer's block, even if you mess up my spelling sometimes. Michael, you're the best cat I've ever had. big glomp for the kitty in my lap  


Schuldich was staring disconsolately out the window, watching the rain fall in sheets outside, making rivers of water on the glass. There was absolutely nothing to do. Farfie was doing time in the next room; he'd gotten out and decided that God liked vanilla ice cream, and so he must destroy all ice cream vendors with vanilla. It was an amazingly random, yet effective process. Suddenly the door opened, and a soaking wet telekinetic walked into the room with a bundle in his arms.  
"Nagi, what in the hell is that?" asked the German. The boy looked sheepish, and muttered something indistinct. It didn't matter, a soft mewling answered his question soon enough, and a tiny black head with wide green eyes confirmed all suspicions.  
"Nagi..."  
"But it was cold and shivering! I couldn't leave it out there to die! Besides, look at him. Isn't he a little bit cute?" He held up the tiny kitten, and Schu couldn't help but admit, it was kind of adorable. But...they'd never even owned a goldfish, much less a cat...a good case sprung up into his head.  
"But Crawford-"  
"Is on a business trip," Nagi cut in, dashing all of Schu's arguments, "so please? I'll take care of him, and he'll be good, won't you Pocky?"  
"Pocky? You already named it?"  
"Sure, I knew you'd let me keep him!" Nagi would have hugged the man, but there was a sweet little hungry cat in his arms that needed fed.  
"I thought I was the psychic here." Muttered the unhappy German. A few minutes later though, the small black fur ball climbed up into his lap as he was reading a newspaper, and began to purr in contentment. Okay, so maybe this wouldn't be so bad...  
  
1:30 A.M., living room, Japan  
  
My name is Pocky, Chocolate Pocky. My mission this night, reconnaissance. I began in the main room, what the inhabitants call a living room. A couch, a loveseat frequented by two of them, and three lamps, two standing, one on the table by the loveseat was set in what might have been order. To survive in this new environment I must plan ahead. I killed two small natives, ate one and stored the other away under the couch cushion as an emergency cache. Must do this every week. Not that the food here wasn't good, I enjoyed it immensely, but nothing matches that gamey flavor. Besides, one cannot always rely on the hospitality of the people.

I made my mark on the side of the couch, in case any others should happen to search here, they will know I am alive. Investigated open room, gained entry after slowly prying open the doorway. Must learn to perform this task more efficiently in the future. Discovered the sleeping quarters of one of the inhabitants, at least, I think it was. This creature slept upside down in what seemed to be very uncomfortable bindings. Correction, it was not asleep. A single golden eye peered in the darkness, following my every move. I froze, was it friend or foe? I could not be certain, and so left the unstable situation.

Next room, an empty bed and closet all that was noteworthy. Contents of the closet more so. Rows and rows of small little litter boxes, each one looking like the other. Perfectly clean, perfectly matched...they must have been expecting company such as me. Hn...this needed further study. I proceeded to use one of the boxes while pondering this perplexing puzzle. Did these simple folk know of my coming? How much did they really know? I had previously investigated this next room, and proceeded on to the next.

Dark...light in the window dimly illuminating...sharp inhale enemy target in sight. Orange fuzz ball, much like the mannequins we used in training, at two o' clock. Finally, my first encounter with the foe. Must carry on in all possible stealth. It shifted, and I blended in with the shadows using the techniques I learned well in claw camp. Wait for the perfect moment...I attacked when it seemed to be the most vulnerable. Claws outstretched, the battle cry erupting from my throat, the combat began. The struggle was long, but in the end guerilla warfare won the battle. After dealing mortal wounds I silently crept away into the shadows to finish my mission...  
  
Nagi flipped a pancake in the kitchen, laughing at the kitten on the floor playing with a string. It had curled up in the middle of the floor last night, and this morning it was in the same position. Poor thing must have been scared of the new place. The pancake flipped again as he knelt to pet the cat affectionately. Farfarello came steadily into the room, and sat at the table with a knife in hand. Taking an Eggo he began to carefully dice it, laughing quietly but maniacally in the process.

"When did we get a cat?" he asked, still concentrating on the pureed waffle. Nagi promptly replied with his short speech on how the cat needed a home because it was cold and wet and it was so cute and Schu said they could keep it and Crawford was on a trip so he could deal with it when he got back. "Black cats hurt God." was the only reply the madman gave, but he smiled happily at the kitten, whose attention was fixed on the shining blade Farfarello was moving rhythmically to some arcane God-hurting chant playing in his head. Nagi smiled at this acceptance of his pet, and both of them turned as they heard slow but heavy, deliberate, thumping footsteps in the hallway. Their hall was carpeted...Nagi dropped the pancake on the floor.

Schuldich, fire shooting from mad emerald eyes, stood in the hallway. His hair, or what was left of it, seemed to be in patchy clumps of orange, and as he touched it, small bits still fell off. The Irishman and the telekinetic simply stared openmouthed. Wa-i.

"Um...Schu..." Nagi stopped at the cruel glare and pounding headache that suddenly ensued.  
"Where is that friekin cat?" But both the pancake and the feline were missing.  
  
12:30 A.M.  
  
Stayed hidden all of today, one of the inhabitants very suspicious. Had ample provisions, as one of them had conveniently given some food. Continued with mission. Must explore carefully.  
Man with orange fuzz on his head out tonight, so I knew I would not face any foe this time. Decided to conduct further investigation of the strange amber eyed creature. Gained entry into this chamber again. Note, getting better at this, the practice is paying off. Once again sighted the creature hanging from the ceiling.  
"Kitty..." It was looking at me, studying. Sat down and watched it as well, unsure of its sympathies. "Come here kitty...I won't hurt you. You can hurt God all you want."  
After careful consideration, decided that this inhabitant could be a useful comrade and ally, though caution was still needed. Walked over to the hanging creature, circled. What held it up there? Ah hah, a rope suspended the bindings, a rope that was held over a loop and tied down on the ground. Began to chew and gnaw the bindings.  
Teeth hurt when done, but in the end the line snapped and he came crashing down on a shoulder. The noise was enough to make me dash into the corner, just to stay safe. Also not sure if the individual was wounded, and might attack in fear.  
It did not. Instead he stood loose of his bindings, and turned toward me.  
"Thank you. You've helped me to hurt God. I admire you, little demon." He bent down and lifted me up, carrying me out of the room. Setting me on floor in living room, the inhabitant left a moment, but returned with package of white powder, and set it before me. He then proceeded to leave the house.  
Cautiously moved toward pile of powder. Sniffed...  
Sniffed again...and again...and again...mrrrrrrOOOOOOWWWWWWW!!!! =v=  
  
"Ow! Nagi! Nagi where the hell are you! NAGI!"  
"He's at school, Schuldich." replied Farfarello from the door. Schu spun on his heel in an insane frenzy. He raced at the Irishman and slammed the door behind him. He stood back and pointed an accusing finger at him.  
"Where were you! How did you get out! Where's Nagi?" This action was almost beginning to frighten the madman, who had his own share of problems, but certainly not this.  
"At school. The cat let me go. I was..."  
"No! I don't even want to know."  
"Okay." Farfarello walked placidly by the black blur rushing past his feet. It latched itself onto the remainder of Schuldich's hair in a flurry of hissing and spitting. Farf sat on the couch and calmly watched Schuldich fall to his knees while yanking at the feline on his head.  
"Ow! Ow! What is wrong with this-OW!-cat!?" Schu pulled the cat, and a good sized chunk of hair, from his head, and tossed the cat into Nagi's room, where it began to almost literally bounce off the walls. Farfie pulled out a knife and began to sharpen it.  
"He's hurting-"  
"Farfarello..." The German's voice was dangerous, and even the Irishman had to keep silent before the insanity burning in those eyes. This cat was truly a wonder, maybe now Schu would join him in his quest to give pain to God. "What did you do?"  
"I just gave him some of..."  
"You didn't! Not Crawford's personal cache of powder! Farf, he's gonna kill me!"  
Farfarello was amazed to see what he thought was a flawless man beginning to shiver, then hyperventilate, and finally pass out on the floor. Smiling, he got up and filled the food bowl Nagi had set out for the cat. It came out calmly, if not a little slower than usual, and began to nibble the chow and purr.  
  
Nagi walked in the door after school, and immediately made for the little black kit asleep on the couch. Almost tripping over the unconscious German, he carefully picked his cat up and hugged it.  
"And how is my little Pocky today?" He stroked its head, and with bleary eyes it looked up at him, yawned in the adorable way only little kittens can, and proceeded to fall back asleep. Nagi very tenderly set it back on the cushion, and went to Farfie's room, where the man was fixing his straightjacket.  
"What happened?"  
"Schuldich isn't..."  
"Oh my God!(Farfie twitched) Sorry Farfarello. I forgot about Schuldich!" Nagi went into the living room, to find Schu awake, and back on the couch. On Nagi's entry, Schuldich fixed him with an angry stare.  
"Your cat is insane."  
  
3:00 AM  
  
Not feeling well after the strange euphoric experience. Managed to finally vanquish my enemy, it will not return again for a long time. Unsteady on my paws, memo to self: stay away from strange white substances.  
Emptied my stomach multiple times from nausea, very grateful for the expansive numbers of litter boxes provided. Most are used, will have to reuse soon. Unlikely, as my mission is almost complete and I will go back to base. If I last the night...very sick...getting dizzy...  
  
"Schu? Schu wake up." Nagi shook the German fiercely after a half an hour of trying to rouse him. The man swatted the air uselessly, trying to keep consciousness from overtaking his brain. He was having such a lovely dream too, about a world where there were no cats, except maybe one, but that was _his_ kitten. Schuldich got to wondering if he should have stayed at that house instead. Maybe this would all go away...  
"Schuldich, you have to get up, it's an emergency!" Nagi's persisting voice smacked into his brain. He groaned and sat up in bed.  
"Nothing is more pressing than my-"  
"But Pocky is sick!" Nagi insisted. He held the limp black cat up for Schu to see better, and indeed it looked sick. The kit's eyes were bleary and just a bit runny. The final confirmation was the fact that it did nothing when one of Schuldich's last precious locks of fiery hair fell past his face in front of it.  
"Alright, we'll take it to the vet." _And hopefully to the pound afterward_ He thought. But Nagi looked so concerned, he knew it was a hopeless wish. The boy cradled the small feline in his arms as Schu made sure Farf was _securely _locked up and drove them the few miles to the vet.  
The vet looked extremely surprised when they brought Pocky in. She examined his eyes, nose, ears, and told them to wait a moment while she took him to a back room with another doctor. Nagi waited nervously in a chair, absentmindedly making the flowerpot across the room spin. After a few moments the vet came back out. Nagi stood up, but Schu remained nonchalantly seated.  
"Well, it looks like Pocky has been into some things he shouldn't have. We flushed out his stomach, and with a lot of rest he should be fine. Just don't let him get into any more...unhealthy places." The vet looked hard and scornfully at Schu, who could sense without reading her thoughts the implication. He would have made a smart retort that it was not his, but Nagi was already gratefully thanking her. When given the bill, Schuldich was much less than grateful. Indeed _she_ should be the grateful one.  
"I swear they charged us extra because you look so gullible." he complained. Nagi was stroking his pet's head again, and was paying no attention to the German, who would have loved to have thrown the cat out a window at this moment. He looked up as he kept walking. Why me? I should have never let him keep it. I just-  
His thoughts were interrupted as he ran into a motionless Nagi. The boy was looking down the street at a girl crying on a bench. She was holding a sheet of paper in her hand, and a small stack was beside her. That wouldn't have stopped any of them but...the kitten had perked its ears up and moved away from Nagi as best it could.  
Nagi looked down at Pocky. He had his ears perked up and he was looking intently at the girl. Suddenly, he feebly struggled to get out of Nagi's arms. The telekinetic looked at the girl, then the cat, and then the girl. His face softened and, leaving Schu motionless behind, he walked toward her.  
"Excuse me, what's wrong?" he asked. The girl sobbed once and looked up at him with tears glittering in her eyes. She sniffed and moved her blue hair away from her face.  
"sniff Tot's kitty is choke missing. Déjà disappeared a week ago. Tot can't find Déjà!" She held up the paper she had been holding. On it was the perfect description of Pocky. Nagi looked at the girl, and a smile spread over his face.  
"Do you mean, this kitty?" He set the kitten down on the girl's lap, and she gasped when she saw him. She picked him up and held him in the air a moment.  
"Kind stranger found Déjà vu!" She got up and spun with the kitten in her arms. Nagi smiled even more. She looked so happy, and so did the cat.  
"I'm sorry, he was a little sick. He'll be okay, though, I promise. Déjà vu? Is that his name?" He asked curiously. She stopped spinning to stand before Nagi. Her eyes were shining as she nodded.  
"Déjà vu is Tot's pet. Tot missed Déjà so much! Thank you!" And she ran off into the distance, leaving a stack of useless posters on the bench. Nagi watched her go, and Schu came up behind him.  
"Well, we got rid of that infernal cat!" He said happily. Nagi nodded, quiet as he usually was, and they went home. Schuldich was exuberant. "That's the end of my problems!" He was so happy in fact, that he took everyone out to lunch, even Farfarello.  
  
Crawford came home while they were gone. It had been a long business trip. He headed for his room to get some...his hidden drawer was open, and the little bag empty on the desk. When had he...no, he hadn't used it yet. Who had gotten into his stuff?  
Confused, he sat on the couch, meaning to lean back and relax. But after a few minutes, he noticed a slight stench coming from the couch. He reached underneath the cushion, and pulled out what might have once been a rat. He let out a small cry and dropped it in disgust.  
Suddenly the phone rang. Brad was beginning to get annoyed. He had hoped to rest for at least one day before handling any more problems. He was relieved to hear Schu on the phone and not Esset. They were out having lunch, and wanted to know if Brad would meet them. He said sure and got ready to go. But his shoes were worn and scuffed, so he had better get a new pair. He went into his room and opened the closet door. He pulled a random pair out and put his feet in them.  
Five seconds too late did the premonition hit him. There was something squishy in his shoes...


	6. A Liscence to

I just needed a small break from _Angels Dark and Light _but I'm still working on it, I promise!

disclaimer: I don't own WeiB, but wish I did(like many others out there)

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Schuldig was wide eyed and terrified when Nagi came up to him with _The Question_. True, _The Question_ had been hanging over all of their heads for the past month and a half, and every member of Schwarz was scared that the little Japanese boy was going to ask them. Because one could not just tell the telekinetic to ask someone else. He had that way of transforming those usually so vacant eyes into chibi orbs of doom.

" What am I going to tell him if he asks me?" Schuldig had once said to Crawford early after dropping the boy off at school. The American had merely adjusted his glasses and continued reading the paper. Schu could only pace and wonder. Meanwhile the American had been pondering the same thing.

" Crawford, why can't you tell who the boy will put the question to?" came the smooth voice of the psycho in the corner. He had been leaning against the wall with three butter knives. The white haired man had somehow gotten it into his mind to make them just a little bit sharper. Crawford had set the paper down very slowly, and Schuldig took a step back.

" Because, Farfarello." He spoke very slowly, clearly holding back anger. " It doesn't always work that way." Schuldig had felt the precog's mind twirling with its own thoughts. What answer would Crawford give? After all, it was a dangerous thing, _The Question_. It could mean the life of one of the members of Schwarz.

Farfarello had looked on at the frustration in the other men's actions. He had no idea why this was such a big deal. After all, it wasn't even hurting God in any way, at least not in the Irishman's opinion. He had wondered aloud if maybe the boy would ask him _The Question_, and if it would really matter if he did.

" That's impossible, Farf," snapped the German psychic, " you don't have any experience with this issue." The Irishman had shrugged and slunk off to muse in a more private area of the house.

And now the issue was here, and Nagi was looking up at Schuldig, his large eyes pleading for the positive answer to his question. _The Question_. And what could you say to those eyes, the pleading expression, the almost trembling lip?

" All right, all right. I'll take you out for your driving hours." Schuldig's worst fears were confirmed, and he sighed, defeated. Crawford peered around the corner, a grin spreading across his mouth. Relief washed over him; he had foreseen what driving with that boy would be like. He almost pitied the German for having to do this. Almost, because the couch was still in need of repair from a certain drunken redhead's gun.

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Schuldig clutched the door with trembling hands, and the doorknob audibly rattling when he turned it to come in. He walked determinedly to the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of beer and a pack of cigarettes, and slumped onto the couch. Farfarello came upon him there and leaned forward to watch him, grinning. When the German did not move, but remained staring into space for an hour and half, the psycho's grin became even wider, and he straightened up.

"Crawford, Nagi and Schuldig have returned." he called. The American came in to the living room already knowing what he would find. He sent Farfarello away; the man wasn't making matters any easier. Crawford pulled up a chair and sat across from the psychic, taking note of the empty bottle and the half pack of cigarettes.

" How'd it go?" he asked, and glared at the sudden burst of psychotic giggles in the next room. Schuldig looked up with blank eyes, until suddenly they came into focus and Crawford had to put up mental shields against the sheer force of fear the German's brain was forcing away.

" God, Bradley, he's a psychotic, insane…he just…" The psychic couldn't seem to find words for it, until Crawford helped him light another cigarette. Then he inhaled deeply a few times before regaining some composure. " I don't know what that kid is doing, but damn it we were this close to getting hit every couple of seconds. That car was going into every lane there was as fast as the little bastard could go, and I swear he was on the sidewalk for a moment! Crawford, I can't do this, I can't do it. I just can't." He had started to hyperventilate again, but Brad held him still.

Damn, was the boy really this bad? "Maybe we should simply ban him from driving." But this was definitely the wrong time to say that, as Nagi was walking in the door right about then. His eyes flashed at the two of them and he silently stormed into the living room.

" You can't do that to me. Crawford, I worked so hard, come on! I saved up to buy my own car, and you said-"

"-What I said was that it was a gas guzzler, and I'm not paying for it. Schuldig's and my cars both cost enough as it is. Do you have any idea how much we work just to get gas for those?" Crawford had hit a point. The boy had little income, and if he couldn't pay for gas, he couldn't drive. But Nagi wasn't going down so easily.

" I know it has bad mileage, but I love that car! Please, Crawford, Schuldig? I'll even let Farfarello take me."

" Don't even go there Nagi, he doesn't have a…" If Nagi got into an accident, that would draw attention to Schwarz as well. That was the last thing they needed.

" But you could sign for it anyway. You'll know I did it. Pleeease? I'm sorry I was so bad (here Schuldig let out a very loud "Ha!" ) but I'll get better I promise. I was just testing something out…Please Crawford? Please?" And then he did it, Nagi pulled his one weapon against the precog. It was a gamble; if this didn't work Nagi would never be able to drive, but if it did… Nagi took Crawford's hand and looked up at him with large eyes full of tears, just like the day Crawford had met him in the street and taken pity on him.

Crawford scowled into those eyes, and Nagi begged back. Then the glare wavered, stiffened, wavered again, and collapsed. Who could deny it? When Nagi wanted to be adorable the kid went all out _adorable_. He adjusted his glasses and turned to Schuldig.

" Well, you won't have to drive with him anymore. Besides, we can get Farfarello out of the house for a while everyday." Nagi jumped up into the air and ran to tell the Irishman. " Arigato! Arigato Gosaimashite!"

And it did seem to work. Neither Crawford nor Schuldig ever had to deal with that problem again, and Farfarello seemed ecstatic after their excursions. That was a little less than comforting, but what could you do? Anyway, Crawford was still looking forward to the day when Nagi got his license, and had to pay for his expenses himself. Then that car would be forever in the garage, and no one would have to worry about Nagi on the road again.

It took months and months for Nagi to get all of his hours. Crawford had repeatedly pushed the boy to work harder, but he said he was. The brunette simply said that he wasn't ready. Crawford took this to mean he was afraid. That was all right; Crawford had been terrified of driving at first. Of course, that was in America, and they all drove insanely over there.

" Schuldig! Crawford!" Nagi came home one day with a triumphant grin on his face, holding the small driver's license in the air. The American faced him with a smug look on his face.

" Great Nagi. Now, do you have a plan on how to pay for your gas?" He expected the boy's face to fall, but instead he could hear Farfarello cackling in the hall. He turned around as the Irishman came in. " What are you laughing at?" This only made the psycho worse.

" Tell him Nagi." Farfarello grinned. This made the boy smile shyly back, then look up at Crawford.

" Anou…I…the reason I was so bad at first…I… I figured out how to work it without gas."

"What!" Crawford's eyes bulged behind the glasses. Nagi nodded.

" As long as it's turned on, I can move everything telekinetically. That's why I took so long to get it right and then get my license… but don't worry, I drove for real at the actual test."

Crawford fell back into his chair. Telekinetically. He could move the car telekinetically…

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Another random chapter for the random fic. I hope everyone enjoys these. If you don't like comedy (which I am only so good at) look me up and you'll see I've also written for the other side of the spectrum, angst (which I am much better at). I hate to be a review monger, but please do so. big chibi Nagi eyes


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